This isn’t a new game, it is actually centuries old, in fact, so old that you need to go to Genesis 3:12 to find the “inventor” of the game. His name was Adam, and he was created to love and fellowship with God. God tended to his every need, including providing him with his wife, Eve.
When God allowed the serpent to tempt Eve, she had a choice to make. She chose to rebel against God. Adam tagged right along with her, willingly. But when everything went awry in the garden after they indulged in their sweet, turned sour fruit tasting, the blame game was started.
God approached Adam for an explanation of this situation, and instead of being honest about his own choice, he blamed Eve. She did offer the fruit, BUT Adam could have turned it down. In fact, Genesis 3:6 tells us he was with her during the exchange with the serpent.
It appears from God’s interaction with Adam, that His expectation was for Adam to make the right choice for himself, and I would also think he was responsible for guiding Eve properly.
What is the blame game? It is simple – it is us thinking we can pass responsibility for our ungodly behavior onto someone else.
Let’s consider this.
Why do we play the blame game? I think there are two main reasons – pride and fear. Pride because we don’t want to admit we have done anything wrong, and fear of what people will think, or what consequences may come our way.
Whom do we attempt to cast our blame onto?
Eve, and Adam give us a glimpse of what it looks like. Adam could have blamed the serpent, but they didn’t. However, today, that is what some people often attempt to do – “The devil made me do it.”. Actually, the devil didn’t make Adam and Eve eat the fruit, it is clearly indicated in Scripture that it was of their own volition. They could have chosen to turn to God.
People often attempt to blame their parents for their own adult choices. “I’m this way because my mother…. Because my father…”. Not really. The ungodly influence can be broken. I’m not saying this is easy or without a lot of work and effort, but the child of an abuser can break the pattern, the child of an alcoholic can break the pattern, the child of the absentee parent can break the pattern…
Some people attempt to blame their spouse or children for their own sinful behavior.
Please recognize that people who are abused need to remove themselves from such harmful situations, and gain help for their healing from those who will help them know and rely upon God and professionals.
Some people even attempt to blame God believing that He has done something wrong, or brought injustice your way by not protecting you from someone who has caused you harm.
There is only one way to quit the blame game. It starts with taking responsibility for one’s own sinful behavior. As some might say, “put on your big boy pants”. Be truthful with yourself. God certainly knows the truth already, so be truthful with Him. Be truthful with those you’ve sinned against.
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
The blame game has been played a lot this last year because of the COVID-19 pandemic. I hear people saying that the pandemic is responsible for all sorts of situations they find themselves in. COVID is blamed for people being lonely, being overweight, being out of shape, for lack of proper education for kids, etc. I’m not saying the pandemic made life easy. I’m not saying that loneliness, weight, exercise, educational issues haven’t been an increased challenge, they have been. The pandemic has brought many challenges to everyone.
But God specializes in helping people handle life’s challenges…when they seek Him honestly and humbly. We need to choose to seek His help.
God has all sorts of ways to come alongside people to help them bear up under life’s challenges.
You can choose to ask Him for help – one of my regular requests – simple and to the point… “God, I need help, please”! Then believe that He will help you. Be realistic in your expectations. Be open to how God provides His help. God can miraculously heal and change circumstances, but that is not often the path He wants us to experience. Most often God wants us to experience His moment by moment involvement in our lives, as we choose Him, and wait upon Him.
Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8)!
Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
1 Chronicles 16:11 “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!”
There is only One Person who could ever truly blame others for His suffering, the Lord Jesus. But Jesus did not ever do that. Instead, He went to the cross willingly, even asking God to forgive those who were crucifying Him (Luke 22:24).
Jesus is our example to follow – in all things, and at all times.
Taking responsibility for our sins by acknowledging them for what they are, I believe, is different than blaming ourselves for our sins. Blaming ourselves doesn’t ever bring healing, while taking responsibility for our sins, confessing them to God, and others as necessary, leads to freedom in Christ. Jesus came to set captives [to sin] free (Luke 4:18-19).
His mercy and grace are more than sufficient to cover the sins we continue to commit, but God expects us to “come clean” with Him. He is not expecting us to try to rationalize our sin by attempting to transfer our guilt from ourselves in some manner. No. God simply wants us to seek Him first, His righteousness, and trust Him for everything else we need (John 6:33).
Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
How stuck are you in the blame game? If I can assist you in any way to break this pattern, please feel free to contact me.
Living for Jesus, Donna
P.S. If this has helped you, please feel free to share it with others!
Note: If the verses for Bible references do not appear when you hover over them, go directly to the website, and they should appear for you.
Copyright 2020 Donna Shappy
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