Often we are tempted to do something loving and kind for someone else because they can or have done something for us.
It could be that we are invited to a friend’s for dinner, so then we might feel it necessary to have them over for dinner. Someone gives us a birthday gift, so we can feel obligated to reciprocate.
But God, through Jesus, sets the example of unreciprocal love and acts of kindness.
Unreciprocal love and acts of kindness are evidence of God’s Holy Spirit’s work.
Jesus’ work on the cross is the greatest act of love. It is an act we can never repeat. We are not expected to repeat it. We are expected to accept His gift of forgiveness for our sins, and with a heart of love and gratitude we extend unreciprocal love to others.
True love doesn’t demand something from others because of kindness extended to others. For example, if we give someone a gift, we should not have an expectation that we should receive one in return.
The expectation of reciprocity puts a lot of pressure on people.
Consider Christmas. Someone gives you a Christmas gift, and they were not originally on your Christmas shopping list, you are on a budget, but the nagging to reciprocate makes you feel it is necessary to buy the person a gift.
But God wants us to be able to accept a gift, without feeling it necessary to reciprocate. God wants us to have a heart of gratitude to the person who gives us gifts, especially to Him, the Giver of the greatest gift of eternal life.
Our response to God’s gift of salvation, and all other blessings, should not come from a heart of indebtedness or a feeling of reciprocity, but from a heart of gratitude.
Heart motivation matters.
There is nothing wrong with receiving and/or giving gifts to people, unless our heart motivation is out of sync with God’s Word.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
True love, love that Christ has worked into our hearts [when we are born again Christ followers], is expressed through generosity, because God has been generous to us, without expectation of reciprocity.
“And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” Luke 6:34-35
When God’s people love and perform acts of kindness that are unreciprocal in nature, that is a testimony to people of His love.
That should be our goal in everything we say and do – to testify to the amazing love and kindness of our great God!
“Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.” Matthew 5:42
Consider this above verse. Is God telling us that we always give to people who beg and ask us for something? I believe the answer is no. As in all cases like this, we must balance it with all of Scripture.
I believe Jesus helps us to understand the truth of unreciprocal giving: “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:35-40
God also doesn’t expect His people to enable others to be lazy: “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10.
God provided guidelines for His people to provide the opportunity for people to “glean” their own food from the fields of others. This was the way Ruth provided for herself and Naomi, as recorded in the book of Ruth.
God does expect us to help our family members: “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8.
Sometimes it can be a challenge to know who to help and when. But God guides us as we seek Him. It is always best to err on the side of mercy. Our acts of love and kindness (reciprocal or unreciprocal) need to be guided and directed by the hand of God, so that they are not emotional responses.
Additionally, we often expect people to be appreciative in return for anything kind we do, but that is not always the way it works. Therefore, if we do what God instructs, then no matter the response we receive from the recipients of our kindness, we are satisfied because we did what God directed.
The Lord does not always receive gratitude and appreciation for what He has done in providing salvation through Jesus, nor for many of His other acts of kindness for us. He doesn’t stop extending His love and acts of kindness for all.
Given God’s enabling power, we can share God’s love, without expectation of reciprocity or gratitude. This shows the world that we belong to Jesus, and that His love is in us. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:16-18
Want to talk? Please contact me at: ButGodCares@gmail.com
Living for Jesus, Donna
P.S. If this has helped you, please feel free to share it with others!
Note: If the verses for Bible references do not appear when you hover over them, go directly to the website, and they should appear for you.
Copyright 2023 Donna Shappy All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other – without the prior permission of the author.